Why couples should never cage or monitor their partners – Clergywoman, Laurie Idahosa

Clergywoman, Laurie Idahosa, has warned couples against monitoring their partners saying the more a partner cages or monitors his or her lover, the more freedom becomes attractive to them.

She wrote:

”The more you cage and monitor your partner, the more attractive freedom from you will become. When you lovingly trust them, free them and stop acting like a private detective, they find themselves coming back, asking to be caged by your love.

As the year comes to an end, you may have found yourself being overly obsessed and possessive of your relationship. You may be at a place where you will do whatever it takes to keep your partner, so that you don’t journey into 2021 alone. This desperation may have been making you act in ways that will drive your partner away instead of drawing them in.

One of the best ways to lose a partner’s interest is to hold onto them too closely; to become obsessive and to monitor their moves.

Your relationship is not meant to be a bondage. Don’t treat your partner like your property, your ward or as if you need to control their every action.

If you are obsessing over them, (even if it is just in your mind), you could very well be sabotaging the one thing you want to keep, more than anything in the world.

Learn to trust, to release the pressure and to love unconditionally, without a magnifying glass. You don’t need to see everything in their world.

Maintaining a life and pursuing interests that aren’t being monitored by you in detail is what makes your partner more interesting.

Here’s a little checklist….

Stop controlling

Stop snooping around

Stop following their every move

Stop spying on their social media, phones, laptops etc.

Stop interrogating

Stop being so needy

Stop being so insecure.


When you ditch these self-destructive behaviors, you are leaving room for them to love you and pursue your love the way they did when you first started.”

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